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   Happy Divorce Chocolate Bar - $8.50

  Inflatable Wife - $13.80 Sale! $12.00

  Totally silent, wastes no time, spends no money, toilet seat is always up, won't crash your cart, totally faithful and she floats.  About 3 1/2 feet tall.  No holes, wears a little yellow outfit.  Hilarious instruction manual included.   More Female Dolls

  Inflatable Husband - $13.80 Sale! $12.00  

  All your friends will like him, won't upset your parents, always willing to please, doesn't watch football, never breaks wind, always faithful and he floats.  About 3 1/2 feet tall, wears shorts.  Hilarious instruction manual included.  More Male Dolls

  Alimony Checks to Her from Him - $5.00

  Pre Written alimony checks with three sayings.  Checks are made out to:  Pay to the of Lying Selfish Whore, Cold Heartless Bitch and Cause of All My Pain in the amount of Every Last Friggin' Cent!  There are about 24 checks in each pack.  Just date and sign, pre-ass wiped at no extra cost, saves lots of time!

  Ex Wife Toilet Paper - $4.50

  Brighten your day while you wipe away.  Flush your way to mental well being.   He'll love wiping his butt on the old nag and flushing her away!

  Ex Husband Voodoo Doll - $13.00 - Sale! $7.99

  Front of the doll: Screw your prenup!, Send my alimony, You take the kids, Give me more money, I want ALL!...not half, You pay the mortgage, Quit showing up to PTA meetings drunk!, Get your clothes off the lawn!, Admit you're wrong, stop lying about your affairs!, You pay all the legal fees, Get out of the house!, I get the car.  Back of the doll: I want the child support, Quit hiding assets, Leave me alone, Stop yelling at me, No visitation rights, You're paying the medical bills, You will be alone and never love again, You pay off the credit cards, Stop your lawyer from calling me, Give me back your ring, Pay off those back taxes, I get the house.  Includes: one voodoo doll with 25 and 10 pins

  New Husband Voodoo Doll - $13.00 - Sale! $7.99

  Whenever you feel your new husband is taking you for granted, use one of the pins to put him back in line. Stick the pin into the activity that you want your husband to do and instantly he will return back into the same caring man who convinced you to marry him in the first place.  Has funny saying like, "Make Dinner for Us," "Listen to Me," "Sex is over when I say it's over" and "Buy Me Flowers."  About 10" tall.
 

  New Wife Voodoo Doll - $13.00 - Sale! $7.99

  Whenever you feel your new wife is taking you for granted, use one of the pins to put her back in line. Once the pin is inserted she will return to the same caring woman you married.  Has funny saying like, "Take the damn trash out yourself," "Stop Nagging" and "Give me a B.J."  About 10" tall.
 

  Bad Girlfriend Voodoo Doll - $13.00 - Sale! $10.00  

  Sayings on front side of doll: Don’t use the “headache” excuse, Quit bitching, Show me you love me, Stop nagging, Don’t criticize my friends, Get me a beer, Go to the mall by yourself, Let’s have sex, Let’s have sex again, Stop spending money, Let’s have fast food for dinner, Sex is over so you can go home now, Wear only high heels to bed.  Sayings on the back of doll: Don’t think about other men, Don’t call me 10 times a day, Scratch my back, Don’t pester me on poker night, Give me a “thorough” massage, Help me work on the car, Pop my back pimples, Let’s go to an action movie, Let’s do it doggie-style, Stop eating like you’ll never be single again, rub my stinky feet, Don’t kick my friends out.

  Bad Boyfriend Voodoo Doll - $13.00 - Sale! $10.00  

  Whenever you feel that your boyfriend is taking you for granted, use one of the pins to put him back in line. Stick the pin into the activity that you want your boyfriend to do, and instantly he will turn back into the same caring man who convinced you to go out with him in the first place.  Has funny saying like, "Tell Me You Love Me," "Buy Me Jewelry," "Take me Shopping" and "Remember My Birthday."  About 10" tall.

   Boyfriend Training Flash Cards - $14.95

  Starting all over?  Do it right this time!  Not all boyfriends come dating-ready--so give your guy a little basic training with these humorous flash cards! They make it so easy to teach him those all-important relationship dos-and-don'ts: on one side's an icon that captures the card's subject, and on the other is advice on how to handle the problem. And they cover the essentials in a way he'll instantly grasp, from putting the toilet seat down to opening doors to (gasp!) handing over the remote control. Give him guidance on what's appropriate conversation (telling you how great you look, for example), acceptable mannerisms, and proper dress. In no time at all, he'll wow your family, friends, co-workers...and YOU.  32 page booklet and 50 training cards in a great retro designed flip top gift box.
 

   Grow A Lover - $2.00 ea.

  Just drop in a glass of water and your new companion grows up to 600% it's diminutive start up size. 

  Chocolate Lover Boy & Lover Girl - $6.85 ea.

   Lover Girl made of the right stuff – sugar and spice, and chocolate too!  She won’t nag or make you go shopping.  She has luscious lips, but doesn’t talk much.  She has sweet curves and wears edible panties. Chocolate Lover Girl goes down easy.  She’s fun to have around, but even more fun to get rid of. Your friends will eat their hearts out while you eat your Chocolate Lover Girl.  Lover Boy is a man made of the right stuff – delicious, semi-sweet dark chocolate, that is.  He'll fulfill your every need.  He’s sweet.  He’ll stand by you and won’t cheat on you.  He's fun to have around, but even more fun to get rid of.  But don’t worry. If you wake up and find that Chocolate Lover Boy is gone, we have plenty more where he came from!  Both are shaped to look just like the characters on the gift package, very detailed, 4 oz.
 

   Little Prick Award - $3.50

  Perfect trophy to leave behind.

   Emergency First Aid Kit Vibe - $6.75 ea.    

   After he's gone, this is a girl's best friend!  Vinyl case holds the cure to your most personal emergency!  4 1/2 inches takes 2 AA batteries.

  Orgasm Keychain - $6.99 ea.

   This little keychain sounds like a real woman carrying on and on in ecstasy!  It's really embarrassing and fun!

  Hanging Party Shots - $2.50 ea.

   Fun shot glasses for almost any occasion.  Pink from top line says:  Hell Yes, Maybe, No.  Blue says:  Married, Divorced, Single.  Yellow says, Back Door, Front Door, Oral.  Plastic with black neck cord.

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - Heard about your divorce

  Inside - No wonder they threw minute rice at your wedding

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - There are two sides to a divorce.

  Inside - . . .  Yours and the shithead's.

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - My best divorce advice:  you get the ring . . .

  Inside - . . .  He gets the finger!

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - Congratulations on your divorce!  It's a new day.  Now's the time to broaden your horizons . . .

  Inside - . . . and start having orgasms again.

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - Congratulations on your divorce!  You got him by the balls!

  Inside - Now enjoy using them as maracas.  Cha Cha Cha

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - You don't have one card that says Fuck You and Die!

  Inside - Hope this card brings a smile to your face during your divorce.

  Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - Good news, Mr. Townsend, your wife didn't get everything.  The judge said you could keep one testicle.

  Inside - Wishing you all the best during your divorce!

  Breakup/Divorce Card - $2.95

  Outside - I'm a Marvelous Housekeeper.

  Inside - Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

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